I think most women have been there.
One minute you’re having fun. Dancing with a cute guy. Then. Next thing you know. They do something totally inappropriate.
You are caught unaware. Embarrassed for both of you. How could he have thought that would be fun or cool? It almost makes you want to stop dancing with them!
Almost
When a guy is this cute he can be forgiven almost anything.
Rusty is not only doing a great job at getting the right colored ball in the right colored bucket, he’s getting it consistently!
I think Rusty has Harvey’s distance beat.
In the horse world, peoples biggest mistake when trying to teach their horse something new, is usually forgetting to reward.
We ask for a step. The horse gives the step! Then, instead of rewarding that step, of making a big deal out of how good they did in giving us what we want, or even instead of just acknowledging that they did what we wanted, we ask for more. We always have our sights set higher. We want more. We want better. We want perfection.
The way to perfection is never in seeking perfection. Instead the way to perfection is in the little steps.
If we could find the good, no matter how small and acknowledge it, that’s all it takes to change the world. And to teach our horses to do better of course.
Think how much further this reaches, well beyond our horse training.
We do the same thing to people all the time. Oh, you did good. That’s nice. I want better! I expect perfection from you every time, from the very beginning.
Your husband cooked super? That’s nice. But he didn’t cook your favorite, he over cooked it a little, it isn’t perfect. So we complain. Then we complain more when he never offers again.
Your child cleaned their room? That’s nice. But they didn’t get that corner. The floor isn’t clean enough. We want better. So we complain then we complain more when they don’t offer to clean again.
Outside of our immediate families this is just as true. Society demands a behavior. People being people are going about doing their best. They have to survive. They have their own things going on. They are not perfect. Their behavior isn’t perfect. So what does society do? Does anyone reward for the tries? Does anyone care about the attempts to do better? Or Does the world at large complain that nothing is good enough? Always demanding more and more.
That sort of punishment will stop a horse from ever offering what you are looking for. It will stop a husband from trying. It will stop a child from offering. It will stop the world from caring.
Remember to reward the tries.
Riding without a bridle is not the huge difficult undertaking that many people make it out to be. It is a simple, safe, practice that anyone can and should experiment with.
What! Am I really saying that everyone should go out and jump n their horse without a bridle!
No, I’m not. That would be dangerous and irresponsible.
To ride bridleless we don’t have to take off the bridle. All we have to do it not touch the reins.
Go out next time you ride. Lay your reins on the neck and see how long you can go without touching them. Find where you are relying on them as a crutch. Find out if you are using your body clearly, Find out if you are using your body at all to communicate!
It is the fairest way to introduce your horse to bridleless work too. When we drop all form of our normal conversation we are dropping our horse off the deep end. Confusion is a strong form of punishment. The kindest thing we can do for our horses is to be clear and concise in our communication. That means bridleless can be very stressful for them. Not a the utopia many people envision.
Go ride bridleless. In your bridle. Find the things you need to work on. Removing the bridle can come, with time. Or not. The utopia is in finding communication and comfort between you and your horse. Not in the lack of a bridle.
You all know Ghost. My sweet little white heifer.
She is back out in the corn stalks with the rest of the herd now living a feral life.
Why bother to train a cow? I have horses why would I want to ride anything else? What is the point?
Today she showed, once again, the advantage of having a trained cow in the herd.
My father in law fed the cows in a different field today from where he had been feeding. We’ve all seen the set up. A fence line with the gate way back behind and animals on both sides of it. The yummy food is on one side. Some of the animals are stuck in the corner on the other side. They could easily get to the food but they would have to turn and walk away from it back to the gate then around.
Animals can’t usually figure that out. They all stood there staring forlornly at the few head that had been in the right place at the right tie and were being fed.
After taking the et wrap off the bales I went and chased the cattle away from the corner towards the gate. They went easily enough but then stood at the place they had been being fed. Waiting for the hay bale that usually magically appears there.
I climbed over the fence and called Ghost. Her white coat glowed among the solid black herd. She was easy to spot.
It took her a minute. She stood looking at me through the gate. As much a creature of habit as the rest of them. Then, she came.
At a walk at first then trotting happily, she made her way to me. One cow then two followed her. Finally the whole herd streamed through the gate. I had grabbed a handful of cake to shove inn my pocket this morning. Some sort of premonition apparently. I never bring cake. She ate it happily as we walked together back towards the hay and where I had left the fourwheeler idling.
Leader of the pack